Wednesday, August 28, 2019

Learning to Mourn Heroically

In my grieving process, I've been reading a lot of books in search of healing for my shattered heart.  I am just beginning to process Kayla's loss as my brain physically shut down the moment we found her lifeless body in her bed the morning of April 9th. We tried to resuscitate her to no avail which is by far the hardest thing I've had to face in my life. I spent the first couple of months after her death in bed sleeping most of every day away as I just couldn't face my new reality. I had pneumonia when Kayla died and was really struggling to breathe after staying in bed for so long. I finally decided to get up and start taking care of myself. Over the last few months I have gotten up every morning and have given myself Grace and permission to care for my health. As the months have passed, I feel a sense of small improvements in my thinking returning. I think it will be a long time until my body fully recovers from the blow of losing my sweet Kayla.

Today I picked up Grief One Day at a time by Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D. and the reading for today really spoke to me. "When my soulmate dies, the only way to heal my grieving soul is with mourning that is as large as my love." I am learning to mourn heroically. 

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